Caterpillar Crawls Through Quarter

It didn't matter that I was reading business news online this morning, all my brain processed was the fantastic headline "CATERPILLAR CRAWLS THROUGH QUARTER".  

I envisioned some fantastic story involving hallucinogenics and YouTube, and was instead dismayed by just a predictable story about Caterpillar "the business" having financial trouble. And you know what, all of the Caterpillar equipment I currently have on site is frozen, having hydraulic problems due to the low temperatures, so I hope they're having trouble in their head offices. It would make me feel better for the hell they're causing people who're trying to use their machines to do the work. All the sweaty palmed salesmen in the region with arms full of donuts don't make up for this.

I am so disappointed it wasn't a real caterpillar and a real quarter.  I like things that are tangible. I need to be amazed.

Comments

[MegaTwatty]

I am upset over your use of the word "who're" For two reasons.

[CMc]

You never minded it when it was on your license plate.

[used cat parts]

I am so dissatisfied it wasn't a actual caterpillar and a actual one fourth. I like elements that are concrete. I need to be surprised.